Thursday, November 29, 2007

nightmares won't even let me sleep for two hours!

Wow! What a dream! I wish life doesn't end up being like that for me. That'd be really scary. I don't think i'd be able to deal with it. I was panicking even now! I woke up sweating.. And now i'm afraid to go back to sleep.

By 6pm today, I was feeling pretty drained out as I didn't get much sleep the last two days. I was working late on class assignments- art history presentation and typography project. So I made the really tough decision of not going to extra life drawing. And by 8 o clock, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stay awake any longer. I got in my bed with my jeans and t shirt on and was out cold in a second! I even left the lights on.

And now's when the dream starts. First thing I remember is me being at this Huge party. A lot of people are there. And surprisingly, I know almost all of them, and they know me. Could be like a party of all the people I ever knew or met in my entire lifetime. Like my classmates from nursery to my cousins' friends I've met. It was like a big catch up with old people thing.. But on a much larger scale as opposed to a high school reunion or somethin. It was like something was gonna happen to me in the near future and I won't be able to.. Communicate or stay in touch or something.

Next thing I know is I'm running around the house, getting/collecting little things.. Kind of like I'm packing to go somewhere. I am with chitrang talking away, and even he is running around.. Cleaning up and helping me out I guess. Then there's this really annoyed disgruntled pissed off teenager who comes in the house and starts throwing things around, messing everything up. He's about 16 or 17 I figure and like all of them at that age, is really loud and short tempered. He gets into an argument with lavi a.k.a. Chitrang. I look at him and I'm trying to remember who he is, because his face looks very familiar. After trying really hard, I say prateek? And he makes a weird face at me and says, "No! Ishu!" and leaves.

I am shocked! I remember seeing him when he was very little. Not even 11 I'd say.. And now I see him once for few minutes after so many years, and I'm about to leave again! I start talking to chitrang about it. I'm so sad that there's so much I've missed out on and am going to miss everything for next three years..(I really don't know that the three years are for) I'm sacred of being like that because my state of happiness relies a lot on how people I know are doing. One Case in point: the times when pranav's health had been deteriorating..

just then, I woke up. It was almost 11 pm. I'd been sleeping for only two hours. I was sweating and was pretty wet. I remembered I had to talk to dad, so i tried signing into google but the internet wasn't working. So I decided to just go back to bed. But now, sleep was like electricity in maharashtra- gone! So i figured i'd sit and contemplate the nightmare I just had.

Right off the bat, the thing that Really intrigues me is, "how the hell did my brain say ishu when i was totally clueless about who he was. He didn't even look anything like chitrang's younger brother! And why that name? Couldn't the brain think of some other person.. In particular, someone who i've seen is 16 or 17..can't consciously think of any names myself right now. Harsh is turning 18 in december, then Suraj. But anyways.. Did the brain know how I was gonna react when I found out that it was him?are the dreams a predetermined story or are they ad-libed as they go?

Maybe one side of the brain is actually me, and the other side of the brain is controlling the dialogue of the others around me or simulating the environments and the set up.. Hmm.. Gotta look into that! Interestingly, now that I think about the party and me going away thing could be that I've gotten into animation, and I was in india for the summer and am going to go back now. Or that I didn't get in, and my parents have shunned me and everyone is giving me a party before I become a homeless guy that noone will ever care about. But lets not get ahead of ourselves here.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

such a metaphorical dream. And was it prophetic? You saw a kid grown into a teenager. Did you look into how he looks now?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U14BXhP5-5M&feature=related

5:31 onwards.